Picture the scene; you’ve just arrived off a long bus, train, boat or plane ride. You get to your hostel, and check in to your dorm room. If there aren’t any people around, you head down to the common area, to find your fellow backpackers.
You meet some, get a drink and begin talking.
Conversations generally go like this.
“Hey, I am (insert name)”
“Hi, I’m Abbi, nice to meet you.”
“Where are you from?”
“Holland” (I met a number of Dutch people on my travels, so I am using this as an example)
“Cool, I’ve never been to Holland, I was supposed to go back in 2005, but had to cancel, for various reasons. I’ll perhaps make it there one day.”
“I guess by your accent, you are from England?”
“I am from the UK, but from Northern Ireland, but haven’t lived there in 8 years. I’ve been living in New Zealand, for the past two years, my accent has changed over the years.”
“Oh that’s awesome, I am going to New Zealand soon. I am travelling in Thailand, and Cambodia first for a month. I’ve just spent a week at the full moon party.”
“How long are you travelling for?”
“On this trip? Four months, but have only got a few left”
“Wow, four months, I wish I could travel that long!” “Where have you been and where are you going to?”
“I started off in Bali, then went to Singapore, Malaysia (including Malaysian Borneo), Brunei, Thailand, Laos and Cambodia. I am heading to Vietnam soon, then back to Thailand, and finishing my trip in Java, Indonesia.”
So that conversation typically takes 10 minutes, but what on earth have I learnt in that 10 minutes about that person, as an individual? Nothing. I know what nationality they are, and where they’ve been and are going to. Otherwise, nothing.
Backpackers – can we please just stop having these conversations?!
I want to know why you travel, not where you’re travelling to, or how many stamps you have in your passport.
I want to know what makes you tick, and what you’re passionate about. Not what job you do back home.
I want to know what your aspirations and dreams are, and how you want to make a difference in this World, not just your best stories of partying all night in the last city you stopped in.
Perhaps this is too deep? Too much to talk about with a transient or temporary friend (that you inevitably add on Facebook within 5 minutes), who knows.
I’d now love to engage my readers; other travellers, travel bloggers, backpackers, flashpackers ….
Why do you travel? (Here are some of the reasons I travel)
What lessons have you gained while travelling?
What are you passionate about?
What are your hopes and dreams for the future?
I’d also like to challenge you, as you travel, to step out of the ordinary conversation of, who are you and where are you from?
Nice article. And I totally agree that people tend to talk a lot about where they are traveling, and not why they are traveling. I think it has to do a lot with living in the present. Today people are just snapping a photo and rush on to the next destination. I would say stop, check in, and embrace the current moment and your surroundings!
[…] my time in Mui Ne, I met another backpacker called Jerry, from the Czech Republic. We inevitably got in to talking about where he had been and where he was going, over dinner in Hoi […]
Interesting article. We have very meaningful conversations, not just with backpackers, but locals and expats too, almost every day (excluding the days where we never see foreigners, which happens a lot). Friendships are made through experiences together and I feel that when you travel long-term this happens a lot. If you are on a 2 week vacation, you may not feel quite comfortable approaching strangers knowing that you will probably never hang out past that conversation. When you are on the road for years and years like us, we make it a mission to get to know the people we come across.
Great hostel by the way! John and Thuy, the owners, are incredible people.
Jazza – NOMADasaurus recently posted…5 Things To Do In Da Nang, Vietnam
Hi Jazza,
Thanks for your comment. I travelled around SE Asia for 4 months recently, and have done a fair bit of travelling in the past, so I am more than comfortable with approaching strangers, and starting up a conversation. The conversation I listed here as an example was the kinds of conversations I was hearing virtually everyday, and I got a bit tired of it. That’s not to say I didn’t have any meaningful conversations – I did. I met some cool people, travellers, and locals and was able to share more than just talking about travelling, as well as learning from them.
I loved Mui Ne by the way. The backpacker village felt like a real bit of luxury for a while. Really missing Vietnam and the wonderful Pho already, and it has only been 7 weeks. Glad you are enjoying your time there.