Sometimes it takes slowing down, to realise how much of a crazy ride you’ve been on.
When I was younger, I loved roller coasters; the more daring the better. You could hang me upside down and spin me round as fast as possible, and I’d still scream ‘faster, faster’. I loved the thrill, buzz and excitement. I’d go on the most dangerous looking ride at any theme park possible. It would scare the life out of me before I did it, but after I did it, I’d want to do it some more.
I continued to be adventurous well into my adult life, chucking myself off buildings, bridges, cliffs and from the sky (despite probably being advised not to, following previous spinal surgery). I am a dare devil. I like to take risks.
What happens though, when the ride is over? You’ve been used to the bright lights, the music, the adrenaline rush.
You walk off the ride, and can be dazed and confused at first perhaps, but with such a buzz, and say: lets do that again, and you could do it again, as much as you want to.
Or, you could just sit down for a while, and have a rest in the coffee shop and say “I am glad I did that; that was fun”.
I have struggled to feel like England is, or could be home. I mourn for my life in New Zealand, and the life of travelling. However, if I wanted to, I could be on a flight tomorrow, to New Zealand, or to any other part of the World. However, I now have to think about what happens beyond tomorrow.
That is why I have decided to stop here in England, for a little while at least.
I have accepted a new job role in West Sussex, and will be moving in the next month or so. It will be a new area, with great access to the South Coast of England. I’ll also be living about 10 minutes from a major international airport (London Gatwick), so I can easily travel, when and if I want to.
This past weekend, I have been looking at buying a car, as I will need one as part of my job. I came out of the car dealership after lengthy discussions about finance options, and my head was in a spin.
Ok, hold on a second.
Finance options, for a car? What the heck Abbi?
This is not me.
Or, this wasn’t me.
I was the girl that survived without having a mobile phone for 6 months. The girl who walked instead of paying for transport, or took super uncomfortable or long bus rides, in order to save some money. I slept in hostels, and in places without running water or electricity, and now I am looking at financing a car!
What is happening to my life?
What is happening to my life, is that I am attempting to
settle (I hate that word) stay put for a while. To make real and meaningful relationships with people. To commit to something.
“Commitment; You’re either in or you’re out. There’s no such thing as life in-between.” – Pat Riley.
There has been so much in my life I haven’t committed to over the years. Professional gymnastics, swimming clubs, hockey, playing the flute and guitar (I could go on). But now, I think I need to attempt to have develop my career, put down some roots and connect with people, rather than live off the buzz of travel, and have people come and go from your life every few days, weeks or months.
This doesn’t mean I won’t still travel, or use this blog. There are so many places I haven’t been to in England.
I will be travelling before I do start my job, but it may be less ‘travelling’ in the sense that I used to know it, but it’ll be a time where I can get to know a place and relax.
I’d like to take this opportuntiy to say thanks to those who have supported me in my journey as I have travelled. I hope you’ll continue reading about my adventures here in the UK, and Europe.
Life is full of endless opportunities to explore. Whether that is at home or overseas, and I intend to make as much of my time here on earth, doing the things that bring me and others joy.
To those who are thinking of travelling long term, or even taking a year out – don’t be put off. Go and do it. It is an amazing experience, and if you want to travel forever, do that too. Do what makes you happy, not what makes others happy.