In life, we often have the tough task of making decisions. Its something that we are introduced to as children. As we get older, decisions will often appear more difficult; from deciding what university to study at, or what job to take, to buying a house, and getting married.
Some decisions that we are presented with will often make us wish we were a child again, when decisions appeared relatively trivial and insignificant.
However, I am a firm believer in each decision that is made, will be forever a part of the fabric of your life. It creates a story, takes you on a journey, and leads you onto the next chapter.
When I finished university in 2009. I had to make a decision on my first job. I had a job offer in a small town I’d never been to. It was quite far from where I was, and where my boyfriend at the time was living. I often take advice from my mum. At the time she made me draw out a chart of pros and cons, to help me decide.
In the end, I did take the job. It gave me some initial experience, and looking back, it lead me into working in my current job in New Zealand.
This babble about making life decisions, leads me on to talking about my next big life decision of travelling.
For those who have been following my adventures through this blog, or via my Facebook Page, will know that I’ve been talking about travelling for a long time.
Well, I finally made the decision to travel, last night, when I quite nonchalantly booked a flight to Bali, Indonesia.
24 hours after making this decision, I am now filled with many emotions. Sadness about finally leaving New Zealand, which has been my home for the past few years, versus the excitement about seeing new parts of the world.
Re-reading a number of my blog entries which talk about my desire to travel, and what sparked my desire to travel, I realised that I really haven’t done what I intended to do a year or so ago. I’ve been putting it off, delaying it and saying I’ll do it one day.
There is one main reason for this: I may be a little scared.
That may surprise some of my readers, as someone who has already left their home country to move to a new one, to start a new life. I’ve done crazy activities like bungy jumping and skydiving. This should be easy right?
It doesn’t feel so easy at times. Despite reading countless other blogs of people that have been doing it for years.
The main reason for being scared is because I am in my comfort zone right now.
I have always had a relatively easy going life. I’ve transitioned from university, into a job, then I went to New Zealand, with a job offer and a flat to move straight into.
I’ve now had two years in a new country. I’ve travelled throughout. I’ve made new friends, I have a job and a steady income. I appear settled, and life is good.
Why would I want to change it?
What scares me about travelling solo and long term
> I am scared about leaving my comfortable life, with a guaranteed income every 2 weeks
> I am scared about missing the boat on ‘settling down’ one day
> I am scared about not enjoying my travels as much as I hope/expect
> I am scared about adverse events whilst travelling – such as getting attacked, stolen from etc
Despite these fears. I am still going to do it. Here’s why:
When I turned 27 in October, I started to feel my age. I realised that two years in New Zealand had flown in, and that life was starting to pass me by. I didn’t want to be one of those people who sat at home and dreamt of doing something.
- I want to challenge myself socially: I am not the biggest social bunny, and it generally takes me a while to get to know people.
- I want to challenge my organisational and problem solving skills – I am known as the biggest ‘faffer’ (panicker) In my family. Constantly making lists, checking and triple checking that I’ve got everything with me and being an obsessive planner.
- I want to experience freedom, spontaneity, and a day unrestricted by routine.
- I want to experience new cultures, and a different way of living.
So, I am now taking the next step into the unknown. I am excited and I am scared. I am sad (about leaving). However, there is so much to do, and many other things to see!
9 weeks and counting.
“Be brave: even if you’re not, pretend to be, no one can tell the difference”.